The World as it is: 30 Years of Shredder
by RandomPenName
Summary: *Chapter 6 is was - The colors which bind* The shredder has ruled for 30 years. The brothers are torn apart, can they reunite before all they know is lost? Full of Anst,HC and some character death.SAiNW world
1. Raphael

Summery: This story takes place in the world that Donnie arrives in during the 5 part episode Return of the ultiment ninja :ways of the warrior. Shredder has ruled as lord and master for 30 years, not all of our loved characters have made it and the ones that have aren't doing well … at all

Rating: M for graphic violence, mature themes, and language

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT characters or universe.

Please read and review

Ch.1 - The World as it is – 30 years of shredder

A deafening horn echoed over the darkened sky, another 14 hours gone. The people of what had been, New York, drudged and ambled from the Shredder work camps. The eyes of the people were glassy, void of any focus or desire. The words echoed of the steel gray sky:

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

From the video screens over old Madison Square Gardens, to the millions of eyes that watched, one was ever alone here. The Shredders face was everywhere, and his mark over every house and on every man, woman and child's right arm…Children. There weren't any children in this world, from age 2 you are put to work. Women are bred. Childbirth it is a job, not a desire, no one has desires here The Shredder forbids it. Children's minds are warped and their bodies trained to join the Shredders work force.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

The air is stale, clogged with soot and gas: the smell of progress. As quickly as the flood of people appeared they have all vanished into what ever place they call a shelter as the horn sounds again. Its 5:00, curfew has been set, and its time for me to go to work.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

The Shredder's police comb the streets, its far cry from his ninja's that were forced to hide in our past. Weapons made of Utrom and Tricarton technologies keep the people in line. Weapons fire near the 2nd street junction draws my attention from the 'police'. What poor fool didn't make it home in time tonight? When I arrive the police are leaving. They have already taken anything of value the man may have had. It was a good hawl, the 'traitor' they had slain had a pack of cigarettes, they were certainly worth his life.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

I turn over the bullet ridden frame with my foot, not sure why – curious if it was someone I knew I suppose. Nope. Just an old man, maybe forty years old., he was lucky to have lived this long. From the camps and the starvation in this world if you made it beyond 30 it said something about your character. Me, I'm pushing 48 guess I'm to stubborn to die…or to stupid.

Death is common place here; children walk over the bodies of the fallen on their way to work each day with out a flinch. No songs or games, just rules and work. Like I said, children don't exist here.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

Like I said death is common place here, even in my circles. It is 19 years today that Master Splinter gave his life for me and my brothers. We could have saved him, but we ran. Our Fearless leader made us turn tail and run. Some family we were, love you dad, have fun pushing up daisies were just gonna go out for come ice cream.

That was the end of Spinter, and the end of us. No way would I follow that bastard anywhere again. After a fight that took my left eye and left two scars across his chest, I took off and haven't looked back sense.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

Donnie took off years before so leaving wasn't that big of a deal. It's been 30 years since brainaic high tailed it out of here to greener pastures. He took off right after old shredhead took power. I guess he really was the smart one. Wonder if he still alive somewhere out there, though I doubt it.

I heard Leonardo and Mikey tried to go up against Shred-Head after I left. Didn't cost them much, just Mikey's arm and Casey's life. Like I said, Death is common place around here. I wish I said it makes it easier but it doesn't. I still miss that hot head, died before he found out he had a son.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

The sound of the choppers over head are deafening as I step into the shadows and let another group of enforces move past. I guess it was good he died when he did; I certainly wouldn't want to know my kid died when he was 7 years old.

Standing on the roof tops of old New York and hearing that damn message over and over I can't help but wonder if I shouldn't just jump, eyes closed and fall. It couldn't take more than 4 seconds to hit the ground.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

I lean forward before stepping back away from the edge and stooping down as a beam of light from search cannon comes my way. No. Guess I was right – to damn stubborn to die.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

I can't help but wonder where they are from time to time. I see April when I can,and help her out when she needs it. She leads the rebel factions of the area, does a pretty good job too. I get updates about the guys – not that I ask. Leo got hit in the face with some orange powder a few years back, took his sight from him, but he still fights. Mikey does what I do, what we all do.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

We struggle to survive.

In this world.

In our world.

In our Hell.

_The Shredder is your lord and master, The Shredder is always watching, always watching…_

Authors notes: Well it's a little long winded I haven't written one in years. And this is m first TMNT, I'm looking for a cowriter if anyone's interested. The episode always fascinated me so I figured lets see how our guys really survive. Please Read and Review!


	2. Leonardo

The World as it is: 30 Years of Shredder

CH.2

Knock...Knock...Tap...Tap..Knock...Tap-Tap. Silence. Than 4 minutes later the most important part: Tap.Knock.Knock.Tap.tap.tap. ... Tap. The later half was changed daily to keep the false friends out. I return my twin katana to the sheaths as silently as I had drawn them and stepped back into the shadows as the old warehouse door was manually forced open. Screeching and groaning, both man and door until it had been lifted four feet from the ground. I listen, hearing the sounds of feet scraping the ground as men and women alike ducked under the door. Fifteen or so by the sound, and I fight a pain in my chest - 32 had left this morning for the work camps.

The wind shifts adding a whole new level of odor to the already muggy and gassy warehouse. We didn't need the smell of roses, at least we were alive. I hear the door groan its daily complaints as they force it back down. A few children who have managed to stay below the radar slip from the shadows to embrace their parents. Free born children were un heard of, never would I thought the sound of a child crying at the thought of death would be a pleasing sound. Yet in this time, it was. It offered some level of hope that the future of this world would not be tarnished and carried on the backs of children who take death as normal.

There is that sound I mention, Rika, a young girl who's parents worked in the camp was crying. The story fills the air as the surviving adults tell the story. It would seem a guard wanted Amara, Rika's mother. It wasn't uncommon and guards never asked they simply took. It would have over and done with in minutes but Amara was to proud she had fought for the very little she still called her own. They had slit her throat. Jakob her lover, and Rika's father, had tried to intervene for his troubles he was only permitted to watch the guard do as he wished with poor Amara, dead or other wise. Jakob had been killed after the guard finished. Thankfully they do not give such details to Rika, but the innuendo and double talk spell it clear enough to me.

The evening settles into its normal sway, what every food the free born children and I had been able to scavenge is spread around our little outpost. I am a wear of someone sitting beside me; her little shy gives her thoughts away, and no more tears from her small frame. I'm not ashamed to admit how terrifying it was she wasn't crying.

We have an odd little sub-society here. The adults go to the camp, so they are accounted for. The enforcers see a group of loyal people leave in the morning and come home 14 hours later, they never check for the children. Why the parents are in the camps and the streets are more or less empty the children and I go out. We meet here, eat food, mourn the dead and sleep.

As Mikey would say, lather, rinse, repeat.

I must have smiled because Rika spoke.

"Did you think of a joke, sir?"

Sir? Never had that term befallen me, and certainly not from a human child. Yet, this place was beyond color, or genetics. Loyalty was solidified by the moments of the day. You protect each other, you comfort each other, you love each other...Your a family.

Family.

"Sir?"

Oh, Rika. I tilt my head toward her and touch her face softly and smile just a bit when I feel her cheeks rise as she smile.

"Yes Rika, A little one."

"Can you tell me?"

"It wasn't funny."

"Please?"

For a second she sounds like a child and I smile. Perhaps there is hope.

"Please?"

_"Please Leo, just one more game?" ___

I flinched at the sharpness of the memory, Mikey.

"Leave him alone Rika." Her uncle, or at least the closest thing to an uncle she had, spoke sharply and I could feel her jump beside me. "Quit bothering him."

"But-" She offered her defense.

"She is fine." I find my voice can still be strong when I need it to be.

"By the look of the shadow on your face -- it doesn't seem to be." He responded, though less harshly than he had been when speaking to her.

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_**Shadows.**__**  
**__  
_It seemed shadows had been apart of my life for as long as I could remember. I can almost remember being a child, no more than 5. It had been the first night we slept apart. In the old days all five of us would curl up on a blanket in the main room to sleep. It seemed every shadow moved, and each veil held a monster ready to lurch out and claim my soul. I remember going down stairs fighting tears because I knew our master - than only our father - would be unhappy that I lacked the courage to sleep alone. The most vivid part of the memory has always been what I saw when I rounded the corner into the den. On the floor with his back against the couch was my father, his eyes held me at once. To his right was Raphael defiantly not in his lap but using his shin as a pillow. To his left was Donny clutching his blanket and using our father's lap as a grade A pillow. Mikey was sitting on his lap face pressed into his chest and a leg on either side, so that his right foot landed on Donny's shoulder. After looking between my brothers all sound asleep I looked back toward my father. While his left hand rubbed soothing circles on Mikey's back his right hand was extended to me while a knowing eye watched me in kindness. I was proud, but not so proud to turn down the invitation. I laid down on his left not touching him but laying in his shadow. The last thing I remember before falling to sleep was his fingers sliding across my head.

"Sleep my son, I am with you."

As the memory fades I close my eyes to fight away the tears threaten to show themselves.

As I got older the shadows became something to use, as my father became my sensei he trained us to harness the darkness. I used it many times to avoid capture, to protect my brothers, and to help those I could. I completely engrossed myself in my training more in later days than the early ones. I adored the praise for a job well done. As a teenager it was one of the few places I felt I excelled at. Donny knew more about mechanics than most Harvard graduates - and this was at 15. Raph was the strongest...not that I would have ever admitted it and then there was Mikey, he could win one of the master's smiles faster than any of us.

A shadow came over New York as the Shredder came into our lives, but we still had each other and we still won. Now that isn't the case, when Donny left it pushed a thorn into each of our hearts. He left with out reason and with out a goodbye. We all searched for him, thinking maybe he had been captured. In the end it became apparent he was gone, left us to die...It was so unlike him… but war changes people.

The shadow that touched my heart when Donny left us completely covered it when we lost our Sensei. They had us, hook line and sinker and we would have all died but as it had in the past. The father in our Sensi over ruled the master. Leaving him that day was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I remember, Mikey was hurt and unconscious and Raph and I were to wounded to win. I argued desperately with the master when he ordered us to go. There is was no arguing with him, never was - not when he had set himself to task. Raph tried to stay and he nearly broke my jaw when I tried to pull him away from the fight. It took the mention of Mikey to get him to join us. I know I had been harsh as I yelled at him "Killing your self is one thing Raph but can you really kill Mikey too?" It wasn't completely untrue as badly hurt as I was, I may not have been able to get Mikey out alone. True or other wise, it had appealed to the big brother in him and we fled together.

Mikey had been unconscious for 3 days by the time he awoke, it was over. Raph and I had the knock down- drag out fight that had been stewing for more than 30 years...and he had won. We were both wounded badly, my Katana took his eye and left at least one scar on him, but his twin sai to my chest. Game, set, match...Raph won.

I lost.

I lost everything. When I came to nearly a month later I found out that Mikey was healthy or had been when he left, more than 3 weeks prior. It took years to get back to speaking terms with Mikey. We had faced the Shredder one last time. Casey had been killed, Mikey lost his arm and I lost what ever hints of a kinship I had with my baby brother.

I am sure Raph and I have crossed paths since the fight, April has said he is still in city. We haven't spoken since he left me for dead, but I have felt him close by. We are both skilled as Ninja and we know the shadows - all of NY is a shadow now, so hiding isn't hard. Neither of us would let the other know they were there unless we wanted to ... and we haven't'.

Though there was one time I thought I may have seen him. I had been cornered by 10 to many enforcers, I had already been fighting and was hurt...and more than a little tired. They got in close and I made a mistake. They threw some orange powder in my face, to this day I don't know what it was. What I do know is it stung my eyes and I went down in more pain than I had known in years.

I heard the wind part as a sword blade came toward me, disarmed and blind I just waited for the strike. It never did. The sound of steel on steel that I had heard over the years and in my dizziest daydreams echoed around me. I was on the verge of blacking out, but the soundtrack around me played in my mind to one of the many sparing matches of my youth, Katana Vs Sai, friendly Banter and all. The last coherent thought I had was someone's arms coming around me and pulling me off the ground. I woke up here in this place a few hours later, no one could name who had brought me here they had been in the work camps. Only a small child around 2 years old could give me a clue hearing it now I shutter "He looked like you."

Shadows have always been my world and now I walk among that world more apart of it than ever before. That powder took my sight and even my vision is a shadow.

While the world around me descends into darkness, only the shadows of memories comfort me.

--------------------------------------------

"By the look of the shadow on your face -- it doesn't seem to be." He responded, though less harshly than he had been when speaking to her.

"She is fine." I repeated shaking off the wave of intense memories that I thought years of mediation had locked away. I could hear the shuffling of his feet as he moved away.

"What were ya thinking about?" Dear sweet Rika, she could read me better than anyone, but she was one of the younger children so she stayed closest to me when we ventured out.

"Family."

The word sounded foreign as I said it, she sat down her empty plate and what was left of mine. I had offered it to her silently; she was far too kindhearted to simply have taken it. I felt her shift and rest her head on my knee her fingers absently sliding along my shin the way a child does when they are so tired they can't sleep.

"I miss my family." Her voice was quiet and the moister on my knee tells me she is crying. Perhaps there is hope.

I find my self letting my fingers slide thru her hair, as my master - no, my father, had done for me when monsters lurcked in every shadow.

"So do I."

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-GLEE-  
Yay! Ch.2 is done, hope you like it, I am in love with in my self!


	3. Mikey Reunion

What do you know? I do in fact live! I have hired a hit man to take care of my writers block. Seems he was worth the cookies I paid him because TA-DA This fic is alive once more. I had wanted to hold back this portion till later but I felt the fic was dragging in the initial chapters. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

On with the fun.

-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.

It was four in the morning, a far cry from safe but it's the safest it gets anymore. One hour from cerfew lifting and during the shift change for the patrols. Believe it or not this was as good as it got.

I still wouldn't normally risk it, but tonight is special.

The sound of helicopter blades over my head gives me barely enough warning to step back into the shadows of the tree line. I stood there in my hidey-hole for a solid twenty minutes before I break cover and continue on my way.

Central Park, or rather the land mass that was once lovingly known as Central Park, has a lot of memories.

At least for me.

As I walking I felt something on my beak. It's pure, white and cold…snow. Sometimes I have to double check; the ash from the towers could be easily misinterpreted as snow. But this chills me, and I smile.

Snow was a memory in its self. We have been nine when we first saw it. In prior years we had still listened to Master Splinter and stayed underground. Of course, we figured by nine years old we could handle anything topside. By we, I mean myself and Raph. Poor Donnie and Leo just dog tailed after us trying to keep us out of trouble.

Thinking be on it, it was very foolish. It wasn't even 11 O'clock and us four pea brains were having a snow ball fight, right out in the open.

We had paid for it when we got hope but it was worth it.

Heh, The snow is really coming down now. Not that is really effects anything. It's not like Shred-head closes the work camps on poor weather days.

I go into even stealthier stealth mode as I get close to where I am going. The snow is lying on the ground now, easily two inches deep.

Huh, Had I been walking that long?

Birds take to the air suddenly and I dark behind some trees and stay there. The seconds pass like minutes, and the minutes pass like days. Nothing moved, myself included for forty five minutes.

I wasn't sure what had scared the birds. However, one thing I was certain of was what ever had scared the birds, was still in the area.

My toes were freezing. Correction: My toes, feet and ankles were freezing. I am cold blooded after all and the snow had only continued to gather at my feet.

Then, finally someone moved. I gripped my chucks and waited to see who or what it was.

Under the flickering of a street lamp I saw her. She was a young girl, maybe five or six years old. She wore an old brown dress and whatever cloth she had found over it.

That just didn't make sense.

A)Most kids had better sense then to be out after curfewB)How had she gotten this far from the city without being killed.

Then I realized, she wasn't alone. She reached her hand into the darkness she had come from, silently beckoning her ally to join her.

Ok, so now we are dealing with two idiots.

Next came something that stopped my heart only long enough to thrust it into my throat.

Three green fingers emerged from the darkness and collected her small hand in his own.

Well hot damn, I had out waited Leonardo.

Where is a calendar when you need one?

The last time I has seen him was when he told April about Casey. He had tried to help me but I nearly broke his jaw in gratitude. What's so great about two arms?

I absently touched the metal covering on my shoulder still watching the odd pair. He was saying something to her about not jumping the gun.

Well, some things will never change.

They turn in towards the woods. I know where they are headed. The same place I am.

She shivers and he picks her up. He sure gets along well for a blind guy. Course the whole blind thing is straight intell from Aprils Rebels.

They are generally right on though.

I hear him stop and I do the same.

After all these years I'm still following his lead…Damnit.

I won't lie, it does give me a thrill to be this close to him again.

It's been 10...no nearly 12 years since I've spoken word one to him.

God had it really been that long?

They are moving again and after a moment, so am I.

I hear her whisper something I can't quite make out, and him shush her. I sneak forward a few more feet so I can see them. I am only about fifteen feet away and something inside me is terrified that he has yet to notice me.

He had sat her down and moved forward several feet before kneeling. He is slower taking up that position, but I guess we all are. Even this far back I can see the tremor in his hand as he grips the wooden grave marker

.SPLINTER.

The girl stands quietly behind him, her hands folded behind her and her own head bowed. I have to wonder who she is to him. That thought ended abruptly when I heard snow crunch to my right.

As he approached had made no effort to remain hidden.

I saw Leo spin, draw his Katana, and land infront of the girl before I could blink. Ok, maybe it just LOOKED like Leo was slowing down.

So far I had not been noticed so I sunk a little deeper into my little hiding area.

I had slept through this the first time. I had no intention of watching a reply of it now.

The snow issued another crunch to my right as he took another step.

The silence of this was nearly Holy Ground was shattered when he spoke, just as gruff as ever.

"You are the last guy that's got any right being here."

As He moved into the light of the moon I could hear the girl gasp behind Leo. Apparently she was accustom to giant turtles – present company excluded.

The sound caused two very different reactions. Raph tried to get a better look at her while Leo moved to better shield her from him.

This was not good.

To my right I hear Raph draw his sai. Though the sound was nearly silent years together made it as dooming as a thundering freight train.

This was really not good.

"He was my father too, Raph"

Leo's tone was guarded. I can't help but think the child behind him had something to do with it.

"Get outta here, Leo."

Raph warned.

Leo's only reply was to tighten his grip on the twin Katana.

It was a horrifying image. My two eldest brothers squaring off with our fathers grave between them.

No.

This was not right. If they were still hell bent on killing each other – fine. But they could do so without doing it in front of a little girl and atop our fathers resting place.

Suddenly, both were moving. It was as if some silent signal had been given. The girl covered her eyes but peeked through her fingers defiantly. I could see why she tagged around with Leo.

My eyes turned to my brothers. Leo was coming in high with his Katana raised while Raph came in slow with sai aimed and out for blood.

In the millisecond before both blows landed I brother from my cover.

"ENOUGH"

I startled myself at the strength behind my words.

Both pulled off their attack if only out of the sheer fact of being startled.

"Mikey?" Both spoke in unison, confusion and..joy in their tones.

Who said they never agreed.

No, the other one armed mutant ninja turtle.

"Yeah." I muttered.

We hadn't all been in the same space sense they waited to know if I was going to make it before leaving to kill each other.

A blur of brown fabric and ebony locks moved from our fathers grave and firmly affixed herself to Leo's leg. He never dropped his katana but he did rake his knuckles softly through her hair, soothing her in a motion. A quiet tone he had once upon a time used on us was now turned to her.

"Hush, Rika. Now is not the time."

Though his 'eyes' never left us.

So here we are: three sons of splinter, weapons drawn standing around their fathers grave.On this the: anniversary of his death, reunited for the first time in almost twenty years.

Now what?

0-.-.-.--.-.--..-.—0

Well, Whatcha think?

Feed the hungry writers, I give cookies!


	4. Out of the Mouths of Babes

-1Sorry it is taking so long my friends.

Our three remaining brothers are reunited, what will come of it?

Fic rating: M

Ch Rating: T

I own nothing.

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So we stood, un moving, waiting for the first to make their move. Leo's blade was poised only inches away from the child's face though she never seemed afraid. At least, not afraid of Leo's blade hurting her in anyway. Mikey shifted un easily before speaking again as if doing so might cause Leo and Raph to break their stare down.

Unlikely.

"Guys, not here."

Leo circled his wrist when the child tried to touch his hand. The motion conveyed his message and her hand returned to his leg.

"Raph, Leo, not here."

Raph turned toward Mikey, more at the desperation in his tone than the use of his name. In his peripheral vision, he could see that Leo's gaze had also focused on the youngest.

"He wouldn't of wanted this."

Mikey urged, one might think he realized that he had his brothers attention.

"He wouldn't of wanted us to abandon him either."

Mikey flinched under Raph's tone, despite the fact he knew the slander was directed at Leo.

"He told us too!" Leo's tone raised almost at once. The child beside him flinched. Apparently, Leo yelling wasn't a common occurrence.

"We Didn't-" Raph began.

"Shut up, Raph."

Raph's eyes widened a fraction before turning to fix on Mikey, who had issued the order. Leo remained quiet, apparently pleased. It generally took a great deal more to silence the hot head.

"Look at you two. You are standing on his grave. He is dead. I don't care how, or who but the fact is he is GONE. He died to keep us alive. Killing each other is a really poor way to repay him." Mikey's tone was steeled as he looked between the two waiting on them to stand down.

Leo loosened his grip on his blades but did not return them to their sheaths. A steady glance moved between his brothers before turning toward the trail.

"Come on Rika"

Leo's tone was softer toward the child. She moved beside him, barely making an indent in the snow. Leo, however left no tracks. Rika paused and Leo stopped, his head canted in her direction

"Rika?"

"Wait." Her small tones sounding for the first time in the quiet stillness of the grave site.

She moved slowly toward the gravestone, even offering a quiet 'excuse me' when she moved past Raph. Three sets of eyes watched the girl as she came to stand infront of the marker. Slowly she produced three crumpled groupings of weeds and placed them on the barely noticeable area of raised ground.

She looked at the for a moment before adjusting them to how she liked before turning to Leo and holding out her hand. All three turtles stood nearly mesmerized by her tender gesture.

Raph looked past the off pair towards the stone and the grouping of weed like flowers. He had no way of knowing they were for her father, mother and friend, nor that Leo had told her she could place them on his fathers grave. After all she had no place else to put them. All Raph noticed were the three groups of weeds and the three sons who stood empty handed at their fathers grace.

Leo sheathed one Katana to take the child's hand before turning to return to the forest he had come from.

"Look...Maybe we can go talk somewhere?"

Leo's shoulders tensed and Mikey's eyes widened as they found the quiet source of the offer: Raph.

The girl tightened her grip on Leo's hand. Mikey Spoke first as Leo slowly turned to face the red banded turtle.

"I could go for that." Mikey offered tenitively.

After a long moment Leo spoke. "Where?"

Mikey grinned. It was a tired grin, but a grin none the less.

Raph slowly returned his sais to their place in his belt.

"My place."

Mikey replaced his own weapon.

There was something to be said that after all these years, even the memory of their departed father could end a fight.

Raph took the lead with Mikey at his heels. Some yards back Leo and the child with him took up the rear. It was slow going with many un signaled disappearances. There was an air of familiarity as the three fell into an old pattern. The girl kept up with Leo fairly well although after a point her quiet food falls vanished. One could only assume he had picked her up.

Once inside the city their gait went from frantic to standstill at the drop of a hat.

A small started sound escaped the girl as they took to the roof of a biulding on the edge of the city. The whole area was empty and dark, save for a small storage sted in the center.

A search light was fanning the area leaving a matter of seconds of blissful shadow on the roof top between sweeps. A silent sign of go was issued and only the sound of gravel moving alerted the rear guard of the go call. Together they went across the roof top. Raph turned a combination lock and the four entered the shed, closing the door just as the light swept over it once more.

Leo hung back by the now closed door. He could feign vision but not in a place he had never been before. Raph crossed to the far wall to sit on a faded hammock. Mikey sat on a box that contained stolen food from one of the sthredders army supply trucks. Rika sat down near Leo on a beaten pillow before gathering a tattered blanket around her small shoulders.

Leo crossed his arms and leaned against the door.

The silence streched between them and Leo was debating on simply leaving when the girl spoke, effectively startling all of them.

"I'd say thank you for letting us see your home sir, ...but I don't even known your name."

Raph simply stared at her, not sure if he was more hung up on her question, her callness or the use of the name 'sir'.

"Raphael" He offered after a pause

The girl slowly untangled herself from the blanket and approched him. She held her tiny delicate hand toward him.

"Nice to meet you Mr.Raphael. Leonardo has told me all about you."

Raph eyes cut toward Leo.

"I'll bet he has."

She smiled, her hand still out stretched.

"Yep. He said you were his best friend."

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Sorry it took so long. Side note I was thinking of making TMNT site for hosted fiction only TMNT, would anyone be interested?


	5. What is she to you?

-1A/N : Well, spring break is nearly here! Thanks for the interest in this fic its one of my faves! Thanks to all who have reviewed!

Ch Rating. T

Fic Rating. M

Summery. A update

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Raph's jack remained lax after the child's comment. Her small hand still hovering in the air. Remembering himself he shook her hand as gently as he could. The simple gesture caused her face to light up.

She moved to the turtle who lacked an arm. She offered her left hand first before a puzzled expression danced across her features and she extended her right hand instead.

A thick chuckle came from Mikey and Leo visibly relaxed. The last sound he had heard was the child telling Raph that Leo still considered him 'his best friend'. The silence to follow that statement had him thinking the worst.

"Which are you?" Her voice seemed so young compared to the now gravely tones of the turtles.

"Mike" He answered shaking her hand. A part of him was still in awe over the fact this child how some how maintained her humanity in this world.

"I'm Rika."

"Hello, Rika." Mikey returned her kindness.

Before she could extend her conversation with the orange banded turtle her growling stomach interrupted her. She looked down, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry." She offered meekly.

Raph clamed down from his hammock and moved to where Mikey was sitting. He motioned him off the box. He pried the lid off and revealed over 500 protein bars.

"I.." He glanced toward the wide eyed child. "barrowed it from one the Shredders transports."

He grabbed a handful with both hands before handing Mikey five bars.

"Thank, man." Mikey said genuinely, they all knew how scarce food had become.

Next the little girl was given six bars by Raphael, her small eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"No sir, I can't take all of these." Rika's tone held urgency.

"It's fine, Kid. I got plenty more where that came from." Raph said dismissively.

"But-" Rika began.

'How many did he give you?" Leo spoke, his head tilted toward her.

Mikey had begun to eat his and Leo had identified what Raph was handing out by the scent.

"Six." Rika answered softly and more then a little reluctantly.

"She can keep them. Leo." Raph spoke directly to Leo for the first time since the verbal assult at the grave site.

A long pause stretched between them before Leo spoke.

"Keep them Rika. What ever you don't fell right in eating we can share with the others."

She seemed to relax at the prospect of sharing the gift and hastily tore open a bar to eat.

"Others?" Raph questioned, nudging Leo's hand with the five bars intended for him.

Leo quickly took them, shoving them into the coat pocket of the black trench he wore.

"Thanks." He muttered before elaborating. "There are sixteen adults and five children who share our lodging."

The pause in sounds told Leo they were surprised to know he didn't live alone.

"The warehouse on eighth?" Raph offered in passing and Leo froze.

With one question, Raph answered a hundred of his own. That warehouse he called his home had been the same warehouse the he had been delivered to, blind and beaten all those years ago.

So, it had been Raph who saved him.

Small world.

"Yeah." Leo's tone conveyed he knew but Raphael said no more on the subject.

A soft yawn from Rika sounded loud in the silence to follow.

"So. Where as everyone been?" Mikey's tone were a little heavy but that just came from age.

"Around." Raph offered absently, watching as Leo finally sat down. The child pulled both blanket and pillow to him and was soon resting against him. Realizing Mikey wanted more of a response Raph continued:

"I help Aprils people when they need it. Otherwise I try and stay below the radar-"

Quiet snores from Rika attracted his attention. She was asleep. Her head rested on Leo's thigh, while Leo absently ran his fingers through her hair.

"Leo." Raph spoke and Leo 'looked' his way. "Who is she to you?"

A long pause came from Leo as he mulled over the question.

"She was born free. I protect the children while their parents are in the work camps. Her family is dead"

"Not what I asked, Leo." Raph restated "Who is she to -you-"

She signed in her sleep and something passed over his features. What was said next was as much a question as a statement:

"A daughter"

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Thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews!


	6. What is Missing?

**So so so sorry for the delay but I have a really great reason - I became a MOM! But things had fallen into normalcy so I'm hoping to be writing a little more. All my love!**

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**Silence hung in the air for the longest of time following Leo's remark.**

**Mikey had paused with the protein bar hovering at his lips. His eyes shifting between the human child and Leo. It shouldn't really surprise him, Leo having someone. After all, he had been their defender for most of their youth. Still, it seemed awkward to the armless warrior that in this time, this place, a human child would attach themselves to a blind turtle.**

**Then again,…Maybe in this time, it fit more than ever.**

**Raphael watched Leo's face for any changes after he spoke. Leo kept his 'eyes' fixed toward his brother. Despite the fact he wasn't wholly sure if what he said was a question or an answer He would stand by it now that it had been said out loud.**

**Raphael's gaze shifted downward to the small framed girl snuggled against the war hardened turtle. **

**He snorted.**

**Leo tensed.**

**Then he laughed. It wasn't a cold, taunting laugh, more an exasperated amusement.**

**Leo had already begun to stand. Why was he surprised? Why would Raph be anything but a jerk after all these years. He flinched, surprised, to suddenly have a hand on his shoulder. Raph kept steady pressure but didn't force him down.**

"**Take it easy Leo. I was just thinking' about the grave site," Raph said before dropping his hand and returning to his previous seat..**

**Leo's shoulder seemed to vibrate from the touch. It seemed odd to feel the touch of someone like himself. Worn and gruff yes, but…it was the first touch of family he had experienced. With the lack of sight, only their words had proven to him, they were even there. **

"**I fail to find the humor in his death." He started carefully, always so guarded. **

**Guarded as he was he did remain seated, his fingers once again fell into the pattern of running through her hair. She was so soft, even tangled and dirty. Her touch so different from that which lingered on their shoulders.**

"**Naw man, You aint getting' it. Just that, all this time and you still end up running after a kid which blows your cover and gets you into trouble."**

**Raphael's words hung in the air for a few moments before Mikey snorted and fell into a gravely laugh. Even Leo felt the tug of a weary smile touch his lips. His attention moved to the girl as she shifted in her sleep.**

"**Heh, Some things never change." Leo said but there was a fondness to his hardened tones as he spoke. **

"**You lot were the best practice I could have had for that."**

"**Who us? Not us man. We were perfect little obedient ninja." Said Mikey.**

**More chuckles. It was nice to hear sarcasm from Mikey. It offered the smallest amount of normalcy. Which was still more than they had experienced in a long time. **

**And despite their pride…they clung to it.**

**Minutes stretching into hours amid limited but warmed conversations. Certain topics were carefully avoided. The death of splinter and the order of retreat which had been the cause. **

**In a lull of conversatio, it was Leo was brought up another avoided topic.**

"**Has anyone…heard -anything- from Donatello?"**

**The silence which he was met with was painful, and gave more answers than any words.**

"**Sorry I asked." He muttered in the silence.**

**He heard Raphael stand. It was hard for anyone to be in any one place for any time. All the more since the Shredder took power. Mikey shifted awkwardly on the box he was currently sitting on.**

"**I don't get why he left." Mikey said his voice something of the youth they remembered. That doubt when his brothers would fight or when their father became angry. Things in his mind that simply shouldn't happen. **

**Both of his older brothers dropped their heads. No one really knew. It was something that never settled right with them. **

"**I think he sensed where this world was headed and had the good sense to run." Raphael said carefully. Despite the rough past between himself and Leo, the big brother in him wanted to comfort his younger brother. Regardless of how old he was. **

"**I still don't believe it." Mikey said simply. The naivety of a child had long since gone from his life. The false hopes and thoughts of a happy future were destroyed. "He wouldn't have just walked away like that. From all of us, from me. "**

"**He never told anyone, Michelangelo. Not even S-Sensai. If he did, I was never told." Leo's voice was softer, less harsh when he spoke. That weight had never been lifted.**

**He still recalled the steady panic which had grown from uneasiness.**

**Donnie had been quieter in the days before he left. Withdrawn. But times were getting hard and they all knew the raise of shredder had begun despite their best efforts. They had presumed he felt the same as they did and took comfort in his cold machines. Machines didn't hate, or by will cause harm. He felt that was why Donnie liked them so much, he could understand them.**

**Then one morning as they gathered for breakfast, no Donnie. They were dismissive at first. He would often go and gather parts during the night. By lunch he hadn't returned, and by supper they were all out looking.**

**Nothing. **

**They had assumed he was captured and tried a run on Shredders but all their intelligence and observation told them there was no prisoner of their kind. It was on their 2nd attack of Shredders when they had lost Splinter. His orders were to run, to flee for safety. Leo could never forget the pained demand from his father. He hadn't wanted to. He wanted to stand at his side and fight…to die by his father's side. **

**But Splinter had sent him away with a few short words.**

"**You must get your brothers to safety, do not let me out live my sons!"**

**He had obeyed. God help him, he had obeyed, and spent the next 30 years hating himself for it. **

**He had grappled with Raphael using nearly the same plea to get his brother to flee. The fact he couldn't get Mikey out alone.**

**It was once they were home, that it was understood - though unspoken. If Donnie wasn't there - then he had left them. Cold, and calculated. He had known the odds and ran. It wasn't honorable. It wasn't Donnie like, but there were many acting oddly in these fearful times. But this final search had lost their father.**

**It had sent them down a unwinding path which had divided them for what he was certain, could be all time.**

**He was glad, if only for this night, they had put aside that hatred.**

**Long life was not promised in this hell, and frankly all three had outlived most of the population. Though they were slowing down and he knew it. Every day could be their last and he was glad to have had a final chance to speak to his brothers.**

**The sound of choppers over head brought all eyes upward, even those which could not see. **

**Rike jumped from her slumber and drew herself in against the oldest turtle. Her face against his shoulder. The choppers scared everyone, they were often the last sound before death.**

**The rat-a-tat- rang out less than a block away. Sending the small Rika tighter against him. Her face now buried into his chest. His arms wound around her in a quiet comfort. Her parents had been gunned down feet from the ware house door and she had seen it all. **

**It was not surpassing the way she panicked.**

"**It's alright." Leo looked up surprised the words of comfort came from Raph. Who watched the girl cling to his brother.**

"**They can't pick us up in here, it's hidden with technology." He added. **

**Rika tilted her head sideways to see him, not quiet ready to slip from her hiding place but taking comfort in his words.**

**With the topic of Donnie dropped and the pull of sleep drawing on them. All soon began to nod off. Mikey had moved from the box to the floor, a brown blanket tossed his way by Raph kept the chill away. Raphael lay on the hammock looking at his ceiling. The girl's words still echoing in his head. **

**He says you're his best friend.**

**After all this time Leo, that's what you call me? **

**In the darkness he rolled his head to the right watching Leo and the girl.**

**Leo sat up, the child resting on his leg. His hand thru her hair. **

… **Just like Splinter had …**

**Raphael swallowed hard and looked back to ceiling. **

"**You know what's missin'?" **

**Raphael spoke in the night, some time after the child had fallen back to sleep.**

"**Yes." Leo said softly, though his eyes were closed , it was doubtful he had slept at all.**

**Mikey spoke last, and simple as ever.**

"**Donnie"**

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**Written at 3 am with the baby asleep - go me. Sorry for the delay. Like I said, I have a good reason!**


	7. The Colors Which Bind

Though the dawn had come and gone and noon was close at hand the turtles slept. It was safer to move at night and so most of their behavior had shifted to accommodate that life style. However, not everyone was able to sleep and soon Rika was awake.

It was normal for she and Leo to move into the city with the free children to gather food and supplies around 4pm during the guard change. So noon was her normal waking time. It seemed that was asleep for once and likewise his brothers.

She carefully wiggled from under his arm which had settled across her shoulders during the night. Sitting up she explored the room it was slightly more lit then the night before, due to the light which slipped in from cracks in the exterior.

Her eyes fell on the one who slept in the hammock. She stood and walked closer to him. Careful out of what she thought was his reach. Like a child with a dog which might bite, but one she desperately wanted to see. didn't really talk of his family very often. She thought it was because they were dead like hers were.

In her young life she had lost 2 sets of 'parents' her biological parents which had been gunned down outside of the warehouse and the two which were killed only yesterday. They had taken her in as their child, since their child was taken into the 'Corporation'.

She didn't know what happened, or why all those taken in were young girls. But from what she heard from the older children … she didn't want to.

Her eyes looked over turtle which wore a red bandana. It was odd he would wear bright colors, she felt that would make him easier to find. Of course, so did her protector. He didn't wear it on his head anymore but she had noticed he always carried a blue piece of fabric in his pocket when he wore the trench coat.

She had asked him about it once, he had only told her it was a memento from his past.

Maybe he liked it because it reminded him of his brothers. She smiled. She liked to think he had family. It was nice to have them, most didn't. What she couldn't understand if why they wanted to fight all the time. Family was special, if Leo hadn't been with them in a long time shouldn't he have hugged them? Not drawn his swords.

Her eyes moved back to the one in the hammock. He wore an eye path even in his sleep. There were several deep scored marks on his body. He was a fighter too.

She was glad, maybe he would help keep her friends at the warehouse safe too.

The one on the floor was missing an arm. She had heard him once. She had been out hunting for food with Leo and he had suddenly jerked her back into the shadows. She couldn't see around the wall but she heard his voice talking to Leo's friend April.

She didn't ask Leo why they hid, but rather had assumed he must be dangerous. Now looking at him, she wasn't sure how he could be dangerous. Not if he was Leo's brother too.

She walked over to where Mikey rest on the floor under the canvas blanket. He wore a color too. Maybe that was the way their kind marked their family. She looked back to Leo he had shifted slightly. His head was cocked in her direction but his eyes were closed.

She could never tell when he was awake or asleep.

So she continued her exploration of Raphael's small shed. She didn't touch things, that would be wrong. They didn't belong to her. Most children stole from each other, she didn't understand that. If you steal all the time you all go hungry. Granted, she would steal food or clothes when they were scavenging but that was for everyone in the warehouse.

That, she felt, was ok.

She knelt down under a few boxes she found a torn handkerchief. It was purple and in pristine condition. How rare it was to find fabric in good shape. She looked around at each of them and their colors, even though Leo wasn't wearing his.

They were family, and even if they didn't like each other - they had each other.

She liked Mr. Leo, he kept her safe like family…

She wanted a color too.

So she walked over to Leo and stood in front of him for a few seconds waiting to find out if he was awake or asleep. When he shifted his eyes more to her direction she smiled.

He had been awake!

"Mr. Leo…Can I have a color too?"

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A attentive restart, this is a toughie to write you have to get into this world to be able to write it accurately. Sorry for the delay


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